The other day, someone I hadn’t seen in a year commented on how confident I’ve become and how much I’ve grown in the past year.
A worldwide pandemic has its way of forcing you to change and grow. We had to face many challenges over the past year, challenges that forced us to learn and grow, challenges that have helped me become more confident.
My increase in confidence has nothing to do with the way I look. In fact, I ended up gaining weight last year and my skin went from bad to depressing for quite a few months and I’m still recovering from the breakouts.
My newfound confidence came from other things. Here is what helped me become more confident in the past year?
I Now Gain More Confidence from My Efforts than Results
I’ve become obsessed with the idea of winning the day. Every day, I make a list of the things I want to do that day that will move me closer to my goals. At the end of the day, when I look back at what I’ve done, I feel good about myself and my efforts. At the end of the week, I know that regardless of what happened, regardless of my results, I know that I put in the effort and that is reason to feel good. That is enough reason to feel proud of yourself and more confident.
An action-based mindset instead of a results-based mindset has helped me tremendously with my confidence. It’s also referred to as a growth mindset. I highly recommend the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck.
I Started Saying “No” More
One of the things I hate most in life is feeling like I’m forced to do something. I used to say “yes” to things I didn’t want to do and then spent the entire time wishing whatever I said “yes” to would be over.
I was trying to be nice but ended up screwing myself. I’m just as important as anyone else and I don’t have to do something just because someone else wants me to. I became better at saying no.
It’s still hard sometimes, but I will strengthen my no muscle over time. Realising that I can say “no” to people and I don’t have to be afraid has made me feel more powerful.
To be honest, I never really viewed myself as a strong person. I’m doing the 75 HARD™ challenge to become mentally tough after all.
But I already feel more powerful and that has translated into more confidence for me.
I’m Braver Than I Used to Be
There are many things in life I’m afraid of, but I also know that I will never reach my goals if I don’t face many of my fears.
One by one, I’ve taken on things I’m afraid of and over time, it’s made me feel more confident. Now, if I have to face a fear, I’m confident that I’ll be able to overcome it, even if it is scary and uncomfortable.
I Started Speaking up More
I realised that since I’m an adult, my opinion matters just as much as other adults.
I now speak my mind when I really want to say something. I will not hold back my opinion, but I will deliver it kindly.
I have a voice and I’m learning to use it.
Confidence Comes from Being Competent
Have you heard of the confidence competence loop? You can gain a lot of confidence from your abilities. The more you do something like write or play an instrument, the better you will become, and the more confident you are also likely to become. You start to feel more confident because you know you’ve put in the hours. You know what you are good at and what you can feel proud of.
Perhaps other people have complimented you on certain skills and that’s made you feel more confident about it.
And if you aren’t confident in your competence when it comes to a particular skill now, you can feel confident about the fact that you can get better at it. You still have something to feel confident about.
I’m not an expert when it comes to confidence – these are just some things that have helped me that I thought were worth mentioning.